Welcome to Corgi Metal Reviews.  Arthur and Guinny are two very opinionated dogs, and they enjoy sharing their opinions about the latest releases in the world of heavy metal.  Power, Prog, NWOBHM, Death, or Thrash, they'll be sure to help influence your music buying decisions for no good reason at all.

They rate albums based on a scale of 1-10 Derps - the more Derps, the better.  For an especially horrid release, they may dip into the rare "Steaming Coils Of Crap" rating system.
Would you like us to do a review of your metal CD or EP?  Send an email to fzaber1969(at)gmail.com with an EPK.

(Arthur and Guinny prefer power, prog, thrash, melodeath, death, and hair metal. They are not fans of black metal, metalcore, nu-metal, or pop, so they don't review those)
Arthur's Bio
Arthur is a huge fan of the power scene - his first and second favorite bands are Sabaton and Sabaton, and nothing gets his paw pumping faster than some solid double bass drumming along with some twin guitars and lyrics about tanks or dragons.

He's also a fan of prog, thrash, and hair metal, but not huge on the NWOBHM scene aside from Iron Maiden.

He's currently writing his memoirs, and loves nothing more than to mix it up in the pit located on his human's stairs.
Guinny's Bio
Guinivere, or Guinny to her friends (her attention span is not long enough to listen to her full name) is a serious prog snob, as are most purebred Corgis.  She insists that if you don't enjoy all of Pain of Salvation's catalog that you're just not smart enough to get it.

She also enjoys thrash, power, NWOBHM and hair metal, and dreams of landing Sir Russell one day.

When she isn't headbanging and trying to injure Arthur in the stair pit, she writes lyrics for her brutal death metal project, "Pooping On The Patio".
The Human
Because, you know, dogs can't type.  Or work CD players or iPods.

Frank also mediates discussions between Arthur and Guinny to make sure they don't just keep urinating on each other's opinions to prove their dominance, and translates the final outcome into a nicely readable review combining the opinions of both Corgis.

The one who brings the food, cleans up the messes, and lavishes tons of attention on two very spoiled rotten dogs.

Without her, they would all be knee-deep in poop (which is still pretty high, even for a Corgi), eating nothing but McDonald's, and busting their heads on the stairs.

For that, Arthur and Guinny are eternally grateful, and dedicate their success to her.

Thanks, Mom.

(Also, she's the official proofreader)